Taxicab Confessions

I’ve had some interesting cab rides in my time for sure, but I think the one I took on Sunday just about took the cake. I went downtown to check out the gay pride festival at civic center, however when I got there and ate a hot dog, my hangover kicked in and I just said hi to everyone and decided to head home. I went down to Muni and there were sooo many people waiting and it didn’t look like any trains were coming so I decided to just catch a cab home. After waiting on the corner for a while and being forced into conversation with the toothless man holding a furniture liquidation sale sign (FYI he gets paid $70 a day cash!), a cab finally stopped and I thought it was smooth sailing from there. As soon as I got in the guy started talking non stop and then his phone rang and he started talking in Hebrew so I knew I was in trouble right there, because as I’ve learned from living with the Israelis in Australia they are always up to something. Then the guy started telling me how the night before he was driving around the Yankees in his cab and that they ride with him every time they are in town and also by the way do I know where he can buy some weed, etc. Then finally we get to my street and I tell him which driveway to pull into and he says, “Of course, I will take anywhere you want to go, even right up to your bedroom.” So I was already feeling nauseous and that just about pushed me over the edge, I got outta that cab and ran up the stairs, WITHOUT the Israeli cabbie!