Bring back the TV!!!

About a week before I moved into my current house the TV exploded, which is rather unfortunate. Because of this we've had no TV for a few weeks and will hopefully be getting one soon, as soon as my landlord is done building the kiosk. Due to the lack of television all of us are --gasp-- forced to talk to each other every night for hours on end b/c well there's nothing else to do. One can only read so many books in their room (I read 2 last week) before they'd rather have some human conversation. However the normal topics of conversation are always totally out there. Here is a partial list of things that I've spent hours of my life talking about in the last week:
Whether or not it's legal to have a monkey in Israel
The monkey that attacked Itzic at a temple in Thailand
The diseases monkeys carry
How Itzic can get someone an illegal monkey in Israel if they have enough money
The home countries of all the women Dan has slept with (he's trying to sleep with someone from every country--a whole other conversation)
Why Asian women aren't easy (this is a favorite topic of Dan's which has been discussed several times)
Dan's 3 step plan for sleeping with a woman
The best way to build a kiosk
Why selling skin care products is the best job for picking up women
Why the French are so prone to hysteria (we've had a French girl Juliet move in)
The French film industry
Why American women are easy (a topic I was endlessly grilled about by Dan)
The best places in America to pick up women
The best stoner movies
Comic books made into movies
The bitch lady from the property management company
Finally the most common topic:
When are we finally gonna get a new tv!!!

Build a Kiosk and they will come...

Alright so the Israleis are working on the plan for Dead Sea skin product domination and they have branched out on their own and hope to have stands in 10 malls by the end of the year. However this past week they hit a hitch in their plan, the first mall told them that they could have a spot but they would have to provide their own kiosk. Since they don't want to pay money to rent one they have decided to build their own kiosk. Mind you none of them have built anything like this before and so they went on a scouting trip to malls to take pictures of kiosks as a sort of guide. Then it was to the hardware store to buy hundereds of dollars worth of timber and then of course tools, because well they had no tools. Right now the major construction project is going on in the garage, I fear this will only end in tears.

The Dark Horse

The Dark horse captured on film at the party, he's very brooding.

I'd like to buy a vowel...

Alright so I've blogged before several times about the norwegians. Here's the thing there are 4 of them, all hot who all have class together and are roommates, they are in 2 of my classes. Anyways Lars (my fantasy boyfriend) is widely believed to be the hottest of the 4, although now a dark horse has emerged to perhaps take the crown. I use the term dark horse here mostly because he's the only one of the 4 that's not blond. His name is Trygv, yep that's right there aren't any vowels in that, so I've taken to calling him no vowels. I've never spoken to no vowels before last night, normally I just kinda wave and then go talk to Lars. Well last night Lars wasn't out and so the 3 remaining hot norwegians were out together. Here's how my first conversation with no vowels went (some background: I'd had maybe 2 vodka lemonades already, no vowels was carrying an umbrella even though it wasn't raining, I went up to the bar to get 3rd drink and he was the only other person waiting)
Me: I guess you're a man who's always prepared (I point to umbrella)
No vowels: What?
Me: You brought an umbrella that was very prepared of you, in case it rains
No vowels: Rain yes, it might be wet
Me: What?
No vowels: I don't like to get wet in the rain
Me: No I don't like to get wet in the rain either
(It's at this point I realize..wit and charm would get me nowhere with this man..we are struggling to have an even basic english conversation)
No vowels: Are you having a test?
Me: What? No, I don't have a test, do you have a test?
No vowels: Yes I have a test tomorrow
Me: I hope it's not early..since you're out
Anyways I could go on and on this conversation was PAINFUL and lasted about 15 minutes. However I did talk to him later and it was a bit less painful, not much but a bit, baby steps. I really do think though that he may take the crown, because I saw him in boxing class earlier..Lars is really gonna have to step up the game to keep his spot.

Fun with hats!

As usual there were Guiness hats to be had on St. Patrick's day and yes those are balloons tied to my purse, I walked around with them on all night, Dr. Pritchard medicine woman (who's not pictured--b/c well I forgot I had my camera half the night and hardly took any pics) was nice enough to nick them for me from the bar. Incidently that Guiness hat Damien is wearing and then I'm wearing is the last one the bar had so we were lucky!

Strike you down!

Last night was a wonderful St. Patrick's day, fun antics to be had all around. My friend Nigel's new roommate who just moved here from the UK told me a great story about her previous run in with a Texan. Apparently this guy came to work at their lab (she's a smartie only 26 and working on a study to cure alzheimers--got sponsored to come to Australia to do so..I like to call her Dr. Pritchard Medicine Woman), anyways so medicine woman meets Texan at lab, they hit it off, one night all the lab rats go round the pub for drinks...same old story, medicine woman gets plastered and sleeps with Texan. Here's where it gets interesting she says that at like 8am--she'd only had 2 hours sleep and Texan wakes her up and starts preaching saying that god is going to strike them down for what they did last night and that they sinned, etc. Medicine woman says it was the worst morning of her life..she just wanted to go back to sleep and perhaps barf and try to forget the previous night but nope she got woken up for a sermon. This is why she now is afraid of people from Texas, can't say I blame her.

Funny Stuff

This is hilarious, it comes from the website McSweeney's Internet Tendency (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/) which has lots of great articles on it..check it out if you haven't already!

THE SLOWAND PAINFUL COLLAPSE OF A RELATIONSHIP OVER THE COURSE OF A WEEKLONG VACATION AS EXPRESSED BY THE NAMES EACH PARTNER GAVE THEIR DIGITALPHOTOS TAKEN DURING SAID VACATION.
BY MATT HULTEN
- - - -
Monday
Matt.jpg
Carrie.jpg
IloveMatt.jpg
IloveCarrietoo.jpg
Squirrel.jpg
DidMattjustwasteapictureonastupidsquirrel.jpg
IthinkCarrieisangrythatItookapictureofasquirrel.jpg
MattissnappingpicturesofverminwhenImsittingherewearingthemostadorablenewskirt.jpg
Carriewillnotletthesquirrelthinggo.jpg
Tuesday
ImreallyhopingtodaywithCarriewillbebetterthanyesterday.jpg
MaybeIoverreactedandIshouldnthaveyelledatMattforthesquirrelthing. jpg
IreallydontlikedancingbutifitwillmakeCarriehappyIllmakeaneffort.jpg
HeresMattpretendinghesprainedhisanklesohedoesnthavetotakemedancing.jpg
WeareinthefreakingBahamasandallMattwantstodoischeckhisfantasyfootballscores.jpg
Wednesday
IfIcanjustmakeitthroughtodaywithoutfightingwithCarrieIthinkwecansalvagethistrip.jpg
MeintheoutfitMattsaidmademelooklikemymother.jpg
IdontknowwhatIwasthinkingwhenItoldCarriethatshelookedlikehermother.jpg
IfCarriedoesntshutthehellupaboutgoingdancingImgoingtokillmyself.jpg
MattsayshesgoingtothehotelbarbutIknowhesreallygoingtoastripclub.jpg
CouldCarriesbathingsuitbeanysmaller.jpg
Thursday
OnlyfourmoredayswithMattandthenIcangohome.jpg
WhydidntIjustgotoVegaswithmyfriendsinsteadofcomingtothishellholewithCarrie.jpg
ImstartingtoforgetwhatIeversawinMatttobeginwith.jpg
Mattisapparentlycontentspendinghisdaysdoingnothingbutgettingdrunk.jpg
ImprettysurethatguyjustgrabbedCarriesass.jpg
IfIseeMatthitononemorenineteenyearoldImgoingtovomit.jpg
Carrieisopenlyflirtingwitheverythingontwolegsrightinfrontofme.jpg
Friday
IdistinctlyrememberCarriesayingthistripwouldbegoodforourrelationshipbutIdontrecallhertellingmeitwouldbetheworstweekofmyentirelife.jpg
MattisdrunkagainandIthinkhemightverywellhaveaseriousdrinkingproblemthathesbeenhidingfromme.jpg
SomeoneshouldtellCarriethatwhenshedoesbodyshotsoffaguytenyearsyoungerthanherselfitsnotcuteitspathetic.jpg

Saturday
HeresCarrieandthebastardshesprobablydoingbehindmyback.jpg
ThecouchisgoodenoughforMattandifhethinkshessleepingwithmehesoutofhisdamnmind.jpg
IveseenhomelessmenwearingnicerclothesthanwhatMatthasonrightnow.jpg
CarrieisprovingherselftobeevenmoreofashamelesswhorethanIoriginallythoughtwaspossible.jpg
JudgingbythewayhehashandledhimselfonthistripitsnowonderMattcantholddownasteadyjob.jpg
Carrieiswearinganotheroutfitevenaprostitutewouldbeembarrassedtobeseenin.jpg
Sunday
IhopeIvemadethisweekasmiserableforCarrieasshehasforme.jpg
IthinkweshouldseeotherpeopleMatt.jpg
ThatsfinebymeCarrieIllsendyouabillforyourhalfofthetrip.jpg
YoucangotohellMattyoucangostraighttohell.jpg

The Kibbutz

So I've offically been living with the Israelis for less than a week and it takes a bit of getting used to, they have been pretty good about trying to speak english when I'm around so that I can be part of a conversation. I have to say though I woke up this morning to an Alanis Morisette song blaring in hebrew. A bit about my roommates, downstairs it's just me and Itzic, who everyone calls Izzy, he told me to call him Easy because anything I need just ask him and he get it--EASY! He's always saying easy..it's funny the other day I asked him if he had a couple of extra hangers and he goes and gets some from his room and when he hands them to me he says, "See--EASY!" Also Easy found a bicycle pump for me so that I could inflate the balance ball I bought. He'd never seen one before so I had to explain what it's use was and demonstrate for him..then he says how much money you think people pay for this thing, and I said well I paid $12 and he shakes his head..maybe I could sell these things--he's always looking for business opportunities and he even told me, "people say we jews are always trying to make money but it's true it's all I can think about day and night, making money..it's my life". Him and my landlord Tomal have been friends since they were little and are partners in selling Dead Sea Skin products. They hire Isralei backpackers to sell them in malls here. Right now there are 4 such backpackers that live upstairs, all of them just out of the Isralei army and travelling. All they do is sell skin products and get stoned..which is alright I suppose when you've spent the last 3 years getting rocks thrown at you and shot at.

It's a Small World After All

Alright so in my last post I said probably after my Australian foray was over I'd have lived with people from 20 different countries, anyways so I decided a list was in order. So here is the list of the countries where people are from that I've shared a house with at one time or another in Australia (I've lived in 3 places, about to be 4).
England- Scott, Laura, Gemma, Melanie, Mad Mary
Ireland-Danielle, Conor, Enda
Germany-Jann, Sebastian, Toby
France-Ben
Italy-Valerio
Finland-Lilly
Korea-Joy, Sarah
Indonesia-not sure his real name but we called him the possum b/c he would always go hide in his room
Canada-Marc, Rafael, Joanne, Kelly, Amanda
Australia-Nigel, Colin, Warrick, Dylan, Jack, Crissy, Tim
Sweden-Oskar
Brazil-Fabio
Scotland-Adam (to be fair I only saw him when he came to pay rent and that one time he came home just to have a massive fight with his girlfriend)
Fiji-Gunnar
Israel-Names TBA since I'm moving in today

So looks like I'm at 15 and counting..there's still a room free in the house I'm moving into so we could be adding another country to the list and it's possible I've forgotten a country, I'll have to think on it.

The Moving Chronicles

Alright so the other day I thought I found a place to live and then yesterday out of nowhere I get a text from the landlord saying there's been a family emergency and they will be leaving for a few weeks, and they understand if I can't wait to move in that long..NO I can't wait!! There's no way I was gonna stay in hostel that much longer. Anyhow I got lucky because the first place that I went to look at (in a full on panic of course) said that I could move in on Sunday--the same day I was gonna move into the other place. Although let me say that this new place should be mighty interesting. The landlord is an Israeli guy, probably about 24 or 25 and lives in the front apartment and then rents out the rooms in the back one. Well here's the catch, apparently he has his own business and he hires Israeli backpackers to work for him who also live in the back apartment. So they'll be me, one other student who's renting a room and 4 Isralei backpackers living in the house. Should be interesting, never really met or hungout with any Israleis before...looks like before this is all over I'll literally have lived with people from like 20 different countries. Also I'm curious about the Israeli backpacker possible intdentured servatude happening..will keep you updated on the mystery as it unfolds.

Do you know where you are??

It's been an eventful last few days. Night before last I went to a barbie and then afterwards we went to Down Under Bar, which is the most insane backpacker bar in Brisbane, it's absolutely packed every night of the week and Wednesday was no exception. I went with a friend of mine's flatmates, one of them just had a friend arrive from Germany. So at some point in the night they always yell over the speaker..Do you know where you are?? Down Under Bar!!!! Followed by a drink special, so for that song only they were having $2 shots..as soon as they announced that I heard Fabian say to his friend.."germanwords, germanwords germand words fraulines (then pointed to me and the other girl there) then germanwords germanwords." Next thing I know we were being picked up and pushed through to the bar to get the shot special..I did know where I was and you know I don't think I'm going back anytime soon!

Last night was the international students welcome party which was lots of fun, I had lectures until 8pm with Nico and then we were meant to meet people after, well of course our lecture got cancelled and so me and him ended up at the party at 6:30pm, always trouble. Anyways what I like to call the hottie triumvarate joined us, Marc a hottie frenchman and 2 hot norwegians, including Lars who's picture I put in another blog..as my fantasy boyfriend. And let me tell you the love affair (imagined) continues, because guess what Lars did all summer?? He worked with autistic children!! It's too much and also he was the only one of the triumvarate that didn't openly state at the beginning of the night they were gonna try to take someone home that it'd be easy pickings..and he wasn't skeezing on girls..very refreshing indeed. Needless to say I'm a bit tired today, but no lectures so I'm a free woman for the next couple of days and move into my new place on Sunday..can't wait!!!